agrace83@gmail.com

well, on to the more pressing matters at hand. on my way to work today, i finally got mine. no, no, i mean i was pulled over for being in the HOV lane. and for those of you not in georgia, it has nothing to do with jay-z (sorry, that was a completely inexcusable pun). HOV is the "High Occupancy Vehicle" lane. if you count two passengers being high occupancy...just the "carpool lane" for us simple californian folk. well, at any rate, i was in it. and i do travel in it quite often. and i am not often involved in any high occupancy travel, unless you count wilson, R, or, as with friday night, the double date that was myself, R, E, and A. YAY IT LOOKS LIKE ALGEBRA.

well, i was pulled over this morning for driving in said HOV lane. and the great thing about it was i saw the cop staked out on the shoulder next to the HOV lane (the far left lane as is customary most places) and immediately blinkered my way into the next lane over (kinda like a dog that poops on the carpet and immediately slinks under the nearest couch/bed/crevasse of any kind because he knows whats-a-comin), at which point the po-po turned on his lights and pursued me, high speed, for all of three seconds. i guess i waited until he was behind me entirely, so as to not jump the gun pulling over, as if, by premature pulling over, i would make him think i was guilti-er.

oh, the misfired logic of a fugitive.

and i guess we all know what happened next. po-po exits cruiser, approaches car and simply states, with snaggly teeth, "i pulled you over because you were in the HOV lane." (i guess its too early to play the 'know why i pulled you over?' game) to which i lamely replied,
"i know. im sorry. i work all the way on pleasantdale and northcrest and traffic is heavy--" maybe an apology will tug at the heart strings? i nervously bite my nail.
"well, lemme see yer license..."
crap. when getting pulled over i can never seem to find the right balance of contrite apology and ignorant "im-sorry-officer snaggle teeth-i-didn't-know"-nes. well, snaggle teeth informs me, after an eternity of sitting in his cruiser playing the alphabet-license plate game with Deputy Fife on the walkie talkie, or finishing his hoagie, or brewing tea or whatever the hell it is they do when they stalk back to the cruiser...i imagine its whatever the dentist does when he and that vile witch the hygenist stuff cotton and air sucky out tubes and metal prods and fingers and whatever else is lying around the examination room into your mouth and then get up to "check stuff" or "x-ray you" or "leave the room because stifling my laughter at 'horse teeth' is causing me to poke my finger with metal prod number three and i need to get a band-aid." that should be fox's next reality show;

"Next, on a very special episode of "Dental Nighmares 4: Gingivitis Edition; 'WATCH this poor sot in the exam chair sweat through no less than nine foreign objects in his mouth for *minutes* at a stretch! CRINGE as he learns he needs two root canals and a bridge!! FEEL his pain when he exclaims his dental coverage ran out two weeks ago!!! All this and more, only on *FOX*, at 8:30 after 'Date My Mom'"

well, snaggle teeth graciously informed me that he did *not* cite me for crossing out of the HOV lane in a solid white line (i craned my head back and only saw dotted lines. bastard.) and to call this number to see your fine, and it shouldn't be too bad as this is your first HOV violation.

so i muttered an apology, lamely took my citation, and was immediately confronted with a quandary; do i stay in the HOV lane until a dotted line presents itself, and risk further provocation of the Fulton County PD by remaining in the HOV lane? or do i cross through the verboten white solid line and flip a proverbial bird to the FCPD in a 'screw you im leaving the HOV lane but im doin it on MY terms' gesture? well, i struck a compromise by flipping on the blinker and creeping along in the lane until i approached a dotted line. hopefully not offending anyone.

i remain until quit'n time, or commercial brake,